Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Ways Voyager Would Be Different If It Took Place In... Paris, France
O.Bleek

(Yes, I'm stretching.)

10.	New uniforms for the crew designed by Jean-Paul Gaultier: the bras-and-underwear-on-the-outside look.
9.	Holodoc's new favorite word - "Merde!" Holodoc chooses a name, "Jean-Pierre" and takes to strolling the Champs Elysees with his new pet poodle.
8.	The French discover that Neelix is better at finding truffles than a sow in heat. He is kidnapped and is last seen wearing a collar and chain with his nose in the dirt.
7.	Taking a cue from the locals, crewmembers are encouraged to bathe less frequently to save resources, causing Tuvok to look even more like he is smelling Merde all day.
6.	Seven gets work as a model and punches Naomi Campbell's face on the catwalk for giving her major attitude.
5.	Papparazzi terrorize Chakotay, mistaking him for 70s TV star Erik Estrada.
4.	Voyager has new supply of shuttlecraft built by Renault - "Le Shuttle."
3.	Janeway takes to sipping absinthe and finally has a love affair in her new holoprogram, "Toulouse et Moi."
2.	Crew can't tell the difference between AOTW and local Parisians, end up shooting many Frenchmen on site by "mistake."

and NUMBER ONE:

1.	The French love Harry Kim! He replaces Jerry Lewis as their all-time favorite buffoon.

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