The Coffee Nebula Board is for the discussion of Star Trek: Voyager and other sci-fi/cult shows. This is its Archive of episode discussions, top ten lists, fan fiction, and other miscellaneous musings.


Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Ways Voyager Would Be Different If It Took Place In... Orlando, Florida

10.B'Elanna would be constantly recharging the warp core due to the loss of power from the blinker that is left on by the elderly relief pilot.
9.B'Elanna would be constantly performing repairs to the ship due to damages wrought by angry pilots of other ships frustrated at the slow speed and constant blinking while said elderly relief pilot is flying.
8.More than half the crew would be over the age of 60.
7.The newest most-hated food served by Neelix would be a delicacy known as chitterlings (aka chit'lins)
6.The ship would find itself under attack, week after week by AOTW's known as the Southern Baptists (this'un's for Ginny)
5.All shuttles would be equipped not only with gun racks and Confederate Flag stickers, but also big tires, and a :08 sticker. (That's rodeo for the obilgatory 8 seconds a rider must stay on his steed)
4.The Federation will move it's HQ from The Presidio of San Francisco to Cinderella's Castle, and the new President would be a short guy with big round black ears and a skinny tail. However, due to a naviGator's error, the crew of Voyager would still find themselves quite lost (we think they may be somewhere in Bithlo).
3.Captain Kathryn Janeway would be right at home, hangin' with her new best buddies - Mayor Glenda Hood and County Commissioner Linda Chapin. However, she would fine herself the target of angry firefighters who proceed to use pictures of her as urinal liners. (As if some "Star Trek Fans" don't do that already.)
2.Chakotay would get a second job wrestling alligators at Gatorland.
1.Ah, heck, everybody would have to get second jobs, this is a six dollar an hour state! Some of them would be: Janeway as no holds barred female politician; Tom Paris as a Lynx bus driver; B'Elanna Torres as a city maintenence worker (but they never work anyway); Harry Kim as a convenience store clerk; Tuvok as an OPD officer (on a horse, no less!); Neelix as a school lunch lady (fitting, huh?); The Doctor as an HMO provider (they never really work, anyhow); and Seven as a maid at a hotel on International Drive.