Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Ways Voyager Would Be Different If It Took Place In... Ohio
Leonie

10.	The com would keep malfunctioning and instead of receiving the messages of the AOTW, Paris/Chakotay and ensign no-name in a shuttle, she keeps getting the baseball scores of the particular Indians game which is being played.
9.	Not enough replicator rations for coffee to keep Janeway and Paris awake when they are travelling behind little ole ladies who are barely visible behind the Conn of their shuttle crafts.
8.	The crew would not investigate every "cloud" they run accross as they will never go faster than a speed of a quarter impulse. (Mr Kim, scan for any ray from any sun no matter how scattered, If I see one more nebulous mass, I will scream!!!)
7.	The long voyage home is made longer by the constant construction being done on the "Straight Course" to the alpha quadrant.
6.	Janway finally gives in to Ohio quad peer pressure and trades "Voyager" for" Fordager", with monster wheels, a starship bedtrunk, and a small half back seat for the rest of the crew.
5.	No one visits the holoresort program anymore because it's just too cold for 9 out of twelve months of the year, and no one is able to get a tan.
4.	Janway almost loses it as there were no Starbucks coffee and ice cream available locally for one year and she had to go to an out of the way Mom and Pop store to get Haagen Daas and Ben and Jerry's icecream.
3.	Mutiny occurs. Rocky Mountain Leeola Root Oysters.
2.	Voyager keeps getting lost on those interstella hi-ways which have North/South routes intersecting with East/West routes which are the same route for about 10 light years.
1.	In the mess hall, the music changes from a tasteful instrumental variety to one with a twang and four major themes: I lost my dog I lost my car I lost my house And I lost my girl/boy

Oh that felt good.

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