Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Ways Voyager Would Be Different If It Took Place In... the Northwest
Marie

10.	Synthahol would be replaced by the real thing. The real thing, of course, is beer and whisky. Period.
9.	Monday night football would rule, and the home team would make it all the way to finals only to lose to the alll-powerful Dominion team.
8.	Harry Kim would give up playing the clarinet in order to learn clog dancing.
7.	The city council--er, the Voyager senior staff--would be fighting endlessly while doing everything possible to undermine Janeway and create a "weak Captain" form of local government.
6.	There would be lots of talk about "family values" from the regular Starfleet officers, as they discuss the inferiority of the Maquis, and blast them for their anti-Starfleet beliefs and lifestyles.
5.	The Voyager crew would split up into individuals, small families and cliques, each of whom would take over their own section of the ship, heavily armed, and post big signs saying things like "You trespass, you die," and "this cargo bay is protected by compression phaser rifles."
4.	The crew would have vaporized Neelix the moment he tried to serve them Leola root because it's a vegetable, proving that Neelix is the Delta Quad equivalent of a no-good commie infiltrator. Or worse, a liberal.
3.	Chakotay would have immediately bedded Janeway, hidden her birth control pills, and kept her continuously pregnant while he tried to take over the ship. He would have then demanded Janeway stay in their quarters and homeschool the kids, lest they be exposed to undesirable ideas and beliefs.
2.	Unfortunately, Chakotay wouldn't have been allowed to take over the ship because he was a Maquis. The fair-haired, blue-eyed Tom Paris would have been given that honor because only he qualified. The senior staff would all have been replaced with Paris clones.
1.	All the young Starfleet women, who endured the Academy strictly in hopes of finding the right man, would be complaining endlessly to one another about the fact that there have been no marriages and only one baby born in the past four years. What a waste of their valuable time!

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