Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Ways Voyager Would Be Different If It Took Place In... Marin County
mibs

10.	Environmental regulations would require 30% of the decks to be set aside as open space.
9.	Bumperstickers on shuttles would read either "Free Bajor" or "Practice Random Acts of Kindness" (consistent acts of kindness might be too restrictive).
8.	Janeway would have been removed long ago as captain because of her propensity for violence (and forced to attend a support group), and replaced (by overwhelming popular vote) by Neelix, because he's such a nice guy, and he always says "yes" when anyone needs something (hey, he cares about the little people!).
7.	The crew quarters would be redecorated in tasteful neutral colors.
6.	Chakotay's spirit guide would have a very active social life with all the other spirit guides on board.
5.	In about 10 years, the crew would suddenly realize that they DO want to have children, putting a lot of pressure on Holodoc to become a fertility expert.
4.	The observation lounge would have a bike storage area, for those who choose to commute to work in this non-polluting way, especially on "casual Fridays".
3.	All of the uniforms would have to be redone in natural fibers because of several complaints of allergic reactions to the synthetic fabrics.
2.	There would be a serious Tribble and Vol infestation problem, because of their classification as endangered species.
1.	The addictive qualities of leola root would be discovered, and LRA support groups would spring up all around the ship.

I had trouble sleeping last night, because I kept thinking of how I could have made those first 10 better. Here are a few more:

1.	Due to widespread purposeless and depression, the monetary system is reinstated. A new sense of optimism and motivation permeates the workforce, as people rediscover this simple yet concrete way to assert their superiority.
2.	Holodoc, inspired by attending a John Gray seminar, fancies himself a writer and pens "Humans are from Earth, Species 8472 is from fluidic space". He is surprised by its lukewarm reception.
3.	The #1 bumper sticker is "Visualize Galactic Peace". #2 is "The Borg are only as real as you BELIEVE they are".
4.	The crew tries to join their minds together and "hum" the ship back home.
5.	Crew members are tired of having to explain to confused groupies that they are the Starship Voyager, not the Jefferson Starship.
6.	Seven goes on the talk show circuit with her runaway best seller, "My Implants/My Identity: A Journey to Wholeness".

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