The Coffee Nebula Board is for the discussion of Star Trek: Voyager and other sci-fi/cult shows. This is its Archive of episode discussions, top ten lists, fan fiction, and other miscellaneous musings.


Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Ways Voyager Would Be Different If It Took Place In... London, England #2

1.The crew use up all their replicator rations on umbrellas to keep the rain off their uniforms. Oh, and they talk about the weather a lot.
2.By doing the slingshot thing round the sun to get back to the nineteenth century, Voyager manages to scoop up enough genuine London pea-souper fog to create a very effective new antimatter intermix for the warp drive.
3.Winter comes as a complete surprise this year, as indeed it does every year. Falling leaves and the wrong kind of snow keep Voyager grounded for at least a week.
4.The universal translator is unable to cope with Cockney rhyming slang. Some of the crew start to suspect that it might be made up and not a real language at all!
5.That's *Left*-ten-ant Paris who's complaining about the *toe*-ma-toe soup.
6.A shuttlecraft crashes after Chakotay overflies Trafalgar Square. Upon inspection, it is discovered that pigeons have fouled the warp nacelles. Approximately 47 of the little dears are pulled free.
7.Dischord between the Starfleet and Maquis parts of the crew rises to an all time high when it is pointed out that "Maquis" is a French word. (It is, of course, every English person's national duty to hate the French...) Matters are only resolved when Neelix serves leola root in the hole and everybody unites in protest.
8.47 crew members expire as a result of eating leola root in the hole. The rest of the crew keep a stiff upper lip, and soldier on as best they can for the sake of the Empire... whoops, sorry, I meant the Federation!
9.Londoners are disappointed to find that the ship does not have a detachable saucer section. They chop the front off anyway and move it to Greenwich to act as the Millennium dome, thereby saving millions of National Lottery money.
10.In a stroke of brilliance, Captain Kathryn Janeway persuades English Heritage to make Voyager a Grade III listed building. Nasty aliens are now prohibited by law from making any alterations to Voyager's exterior, which kind of cramps their style when shooting at it!