Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Ways Voyager Would Be Different If It Took Place In... Baja, Mexico
O.Bleek

10.	Entire crew almost dies because Holodoc can't find anything on Montezuma's Revenge in the medical database. Crew spends recovery using up all their replicator rations on Pepto Bismol and Lomotil.
9.	At Bellana's birthday party, she destroys the pinata which turns out to be the AOTW, thereby starting a war.
8.	Holodoc has a new favorite word - "Bendejo" and spends time strolling the beach with his new pet chihuahua named Pepe.
7.	Voyager is covered with unpainted bondo after cheap local repairmen are hired to fix dents.
6.	Tom takes up parasailing - dragged by Bellana in a shuttlecraft. She gets mad one day and slams him into the Ritz Carlton Hotel.
5.	Seven gets a severe sunburn on her backside, prompting Harry to beg for new duties as apprentice nurse in the infirmary.
4.	Chakotay is given hallucinogenic peyote mushrooms from local Indians, and on a subsequent VisionQuest he has nightmares about being chased by a nude Tuvok.
3.	Neelix experiments with local ingredients such as iguana, figures everything will taste the same anyway covered with melted cheese and leola root salsa.
2.	Harry is suckered into buying an overpriced condo timeshare from a cute salesgirl wearing a thong bikini.
1.	Janeway gets resort fever, is late for duty, takes siesta naps in the middle of important meetings, wears a sarong on the bridge and wants to do everything "Manana."

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