Voyager Top Ten Lists

The Doc's Top Ten New Subroutines
Terry -- 19 Oct 1999, 9:55 PM

Well, it turned out that the Doc's ECH (Emergency Command Hologram) subroutine workedout so well that the crew decided to give Doc even more of a chance to fully realize his infinite potential. Have a problem? New subroutine to the rescue!

10.	The captain feeling blue or just plain bored? "Computer, activate Emergency Hair Styling Hologram." "Give me a new look. Something fun. Just surprise me."
9.	The first officer have trouble making a spiritual connection? "Computer, activate Emergency Spirit Guide Hologram." "Akoo-chee-moya, I am far...."
8.	The tactical officer having a slight problem with ... biology? "Computer, activate Emergency Mating Hologram." "Grrrrrr...."
7.	The helmsman crave the perfect complement to a Joe Bob Briggs Monsterthon? "Computer, activate Emergency Pizza Boy Hologram." "A large pepperoni with Kavarian anchovies, please."
6.	The chief engineer needs an outlet for her frustrations? "Computer, activate Emergency Sparring Partner Hologram." "Haiiii-yah!!"
5.	The chief of ops wants to experience an alternative music style? "Computer, activate Emergency Boy-George Hologram." "Karma, karma, karma chameeeeleon...."
4.	The cook unable to keep up with kitchen chores? "Computer, activate Emergency Janitorial Hologram." "When you finish with the dishes, take a look at the Messhall restroom. The Bolians clogged the toilet again."
3.	The astrometrics expert feeling somewhat confined? "Computer, activate Emergency Tailoring Hologram." "I require a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and flats. You will comply!"
2.	The ship's only mom needs a night off? "Computer, activate Emergency Babysitting Hologram." "I'll be back at midnight. Don't wait up."
1.	The ship's only kid wants to play? "Computer, activate Emergency Malibu Barbie Hologram." "First, we'll see how the pink leotard looks...."

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