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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Tom Paris Dating Rules
Jules -- 12 Mar 1999, 8:33 AM

My own personal theory is that Tom has certain dating rules he follows, such as:

1.Don't date girls from other galaxies.
2.Don't date girls from other quadrants (unless they're fellow crewmembers).
3.Think twice about flirting with girls from other quadrants (since Lidell Ren, anyway).
4.Don't date fellow crewmembers if they're already dating other fellow crewmembers with silly Mohawk hairdos.
5.If you date fellow crewmembers with silly Mohawk hairdos ex girlfriends, make sure you do it in a different timeline.
6.If you date the captain, make sure that you can pretend that neither of you were in your right mind or body at the time.
7.If you want to date a half-Klingon who doesn't think much of the Klingon part of her ancestry, try to keep her away from bat'leth exercise programs. Especially if you neglect to keep a firm grip on your own bat'leth so that it's handy for parrying purposes.
8.If you want to date a crewmember who thinks that dating is irrelevant, try asking her to play a part in your holonovel instead. Of course, if she thinks that holonovels are irrelevant as well, you'll just have to flutter your eyelashes and turn on your most charming smile.
9.Don't let your half-Klingon girlfriend know about the holodeck date with the crewmember who thinks dating is irrelevant. Especially if you haven't recycled that bat'leth back into the replicator yet.
10.Other than that... go for it.