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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Voyager March Madness Happenings
Mrs. Mac -- 10 Mar 1999, 7:53 AM

10.Janeway, mulling for weeks about Harry smartmouthing her about Mark, assigns Harry to waterboy duty with the Bolian basketball team.
9.Chakotay, honing his spirit guide duties, has been assigned team chaplain duties to the St. John's Red Storm team (deep inside they'll always still be the St. John's Redmen to Chuckie).
8.Neelix becomes the team mascot for the Nebraska Cornhuskers - with the mistaken belief that it was a team of chefs.
7.Seven, finding the need to make the - otherwise pointless - game practical, installs sensors below the floor, the backboard, the rim. Everytime the ball comes in contact with a sensor, electricity is generated for her Borg alcove. She'll never again have to worry about Neelix shutting down her regenerator for using too much power.
6.Janeway was upset that most of her crew implied that they weren't going to attend the March Madness tournament. She lined them up in the Cargo bay and screamed at them nose to nose. "What's wrong with you!" "What a bunch of ladies!" "Now volunteer your a$$e$ and get to the holoarena!" Henceforth, the group of Voyager crewmembers in the crowd called themselves, "The Lady Vols."
5.The Powers That Be (TPTB), particularly adept at keeping count (ie, Voyager crew count) are assigned to scoring. "Let's see, that's 126 to 125! No! 145 to 142! No! Make it 127 to 123! No! ..."
4.Janeway and Tom are caught in a touching scene in the Arkansas locker room. It seems that their lizard triplets went on to become star players for the Razorbacks.
3.George Mason, another how-did-they-get-here team, hires the Delaney Sisters as cheerleaders to distract the Cincinatti players in their opening game. One problem. They distracted their own team too. Final score? Zero-Zero - but a lot of electricity was generated for Seven's alcove.
2.Janeway decides to remove the one-on-one "Around the World" competitions from the halftime activities. It would take 75 years to complete the game.
1.Gonzaga, a team no one ever heard of, hires Vorick, Tuvok and B'Elanna for their team. Just before the game they secretly inject their new players with a serum that will bring on Ponn Farr. There is a lot of scoring in that game for the home team ...