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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Features Of The Paris-Torres Wedding
Ginny -- 26 Feb 1999, 8:01 AM

10.B'Elanna asks Seven to be a bridesmaid just so she can make her wear an ugly dress with a big bow on the butt and dyed-to-match shoes.
9.Neelix hosts a bachelor party for the groom on a nearby planet with some rather alarming, but pretty predictable results--Chakotay nails an alien woman, Tom gets thrown in the brig, and Harry dies.
8.Flower girl Naomi Wildman starts to cry when she is told, in no uncertain terms, that she cannot go with Uncle Tom and Aunt B'Elanna on their upcoming "away mission".
7.The groom, the best man, and all the ushers wear Big Daddy-O Surfer Special waistcoats.
6.Ayala sings the special wedding music, "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?"
5.Instead of candles, the ship's chapel is filled with heart-shaped wrist-light arrays.
4.Kathryn concludes the ceremony by saying, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may bite the groom."
3.Reception server Jenny Delaney keeps "accidently" flipping wedding cake on single male guests and offering to lick it off.
2.Best Man Harry nearly dies again trying to tie tin cans on the rear bumper of the Delta Flyer.
1.The Holodoc interrupts the final toast to inform Tom and B'Elanna that the pre-marriage blood test reveals that Klingon and human bio-chemistry is not only incompatible, but mutually toxic, and they'll have to call the whole thing off.