Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Things That Would Most Scare The Voyager Crew
Ruth -- 27 Oct 1998, 2:58 PM

10.	Kes: Brannon Braga.
9.	The Doc: Despite his recent episode of 'peeping Tomism', he fears Neelix naked.
8.	The Crew in General: Janeway before her morning coffee.
7.	Seven: Learning that because so much scrap metal has been diverted to the new Delta Shuttle, there is no longer enough to spare for underwire bras.
6.	Janeway: Flipping channels one night, she happens onto the Neelix Springer show. The guest: Christina "Craw" Mander, the youngest of Janeway's salamander brood, and author of the best selling book, "Ma'm-y Dearest: The Secret Family Life of Captain Kathryn Janeway."
	Neelix: "And so you are saying, Ms. Mander, that preferring the glamorous life of a space star over the more mundane rigors of motherhood, that Voyager's self-proclaimed "mommy figure" left her own children to be raised by a series of nannies, bog-keepers, and other assorted servants?"
5.	Tom: Finding out that no matter how hard he works and achieves, that it will never be enough to satisfy his emotionally distant, perfect, "my way or the highway," unreasonably demanding father....
	Oh, wait. Tom already knows that. He's also scared of being around B'Elanna when she's having a bad hair day.
4.	Harry: the Delaney sisters when they get that look in their eyes and start running their hands through his hair and over his shoulders. His mom warned him about those kind of girls!
3.	Chakotay: He is worried that the ship's store will simultaneously run out of "Just for Men," Miss Clairol's "Blackest Black," and "Midnight Ink" Kiwi shoe polish.
2.	The entire crew: Well, they aren't exactly be scared, but are a little wary of Tuvok as he nears Pon Farr. He's been wearing an inordinate amount of cologne ('Tiffany for Men'), and when he says, "Captain, I await your orders," he sounds an awful lot like Barry White.
1.	The entire crew (along with Star Trek fans everywhere): They're scared that UPN will announce that they've decided to take Voyager in an entirely new direction. In order to attract new female viewers, they've decided to give Harry a new roommate and spend most of the show following their goofy adventures as they save the ship from one crisis to another!
	That's right. Wesley Crusher.

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