Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Things I Hope Won't Be Overheard As Voyager's Producers/Writers Brainstorm For Season Five
Ruth -- 24 Aug 1998, 6:53 PM

10.	"I don't think our YAM demographic is high enough. Say, is Pamela Anderson available to play B'Elanna's rival for chief engineer? We could explain that the reason Carey has been AWOL is that he was getting a sex change and changed her name to Kari Joseph!"
9.	"We've got to do something to attract the kids. (Snap of fingers) Hey, why don't we bring back those salamanders from "Threshold?" They are cute and cuddly, in a slimy sort of way, and we could have heartwarming scenes with Janeway making them cookies and stuff, and ha ha scenes where like Tom tries to tell the boys the facts of life, and they just roll their salamander eyes and..."
8.	"The audience is demanding it, so I guess we have no choice: we need to have more scenes of Harry playing the clarinet."
7.	"You're right, you're right. The whole Paris-Torres thing just isn't working out. Let's break them up and go back to what we originally planned ... the passionate and wholly unpredictable love story of the fair haired pilot and the hot blooded Talaxian chef!"
6.	"Well, it's official. Another cast member is pregnant. Great, just great, another season of smocks! Yep, I just got off the phone with him, and now we know why Robbie McNeill looks like he's been gaining some weight."
5.	"The big wigs at Paramount just called. Two things. First, they want us to cut out the love scene between Janeway and Chakotay in the first ep. It wasn't so much their passionate necking, their state of utter dishabille and erotic abandonment, or even the part where he licks whipped cream off her toes. They just really don't think her hair looked very good."
4.	"Second, they think we made Harry too grim and gritty last season. They want us to dumb him down a little more."
3.	"Hey, why don't we have Chakotay sleep with the Delaney sisters and then have them sue him for sexual harassment?"
2.	"Yes! Paramount has confirmed it! Kes IS coming back --- along with her lover, Wesley Crusher!"
1.	"If Seven of Nine has grabbed so much attention because she has two enormous breasts, just think how fabulous she'd be with three!!!"

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