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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Things The Vis A Vis Alien Found Annoying About Being Stuck In Harry Kim's Body
Marie -- 6 Apr 1998, 12:29 PM

Thanks, Ruth, for posting that. I needed a good laugh.

But of course the alien could be much worse off in the body of other crew members. Possibilities abound. Consider the alien trapped in Harry Kim's body:

10.He'd find himself continuously confused about whether his last name was Kim or Dim.
9.Whenever Tom would stick spaghetti up his nose at dinner, the alien would find himself inexplicably freaking out, with the numbers 8472 reverberating in his head.
8.He'd wonder why his mind frequently felt so empty.
7.The alien would find his insides mostly turning to jelly whenever Seven was around.
6.But now he understands why Kim usually has a PADD in hand or stands behind a console when she appears. Those pesky, disobedient male appendages!
5.The alien starts referring to himself as Chipmunk Cheeks.
4.Having read the logs of Mistress Janeway, the alien enters the captain's ready room, bearing silk-covered handcuffs to get on Janeway's good side. Janeway smiles, handcuffs him and boots him out onto the bridge. As the bridge crew looks breaks down in hysterical laughter, Tuvok nudges him and states "I'm afraid this isn't a dream, ensign. But at least you're not unclothed."
3.No one wants to sit with him in the mess hall anymore, except for Tom, who only wants to know what Kim did to deserve such humiliation, and whether Janeway would like some fine leather thigh boots.
2.The alien spends his days with this vaguely paranoid feeling, wondering why he was always hearing crew members whisper the word "airlock" when they passed him.
1.Realizing what a bimbo he'd become, the alien finally understands the airlock reference and blows himself out of the nearest one.