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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Things The Vis A Vis Alien Found Annoying About Being Stuck In Tom's Body
Ruth -- 6 Apr 1998, 10:26 AM

Hi -- I snuck into UPN headquarters this weekend and watched an airing of Vis a Vis -- it was great!! But that alien was really irritated about being trapped in Tom's body.

Top ten things the Vis a Vis alien found annoying about being stuck in Tom's body

10.He was really freaked out by the way his eyes constantly changed from blue to gray.
9.He had to pretend to like Harry Kim.
8.He hated having to pretend that he is attracted to B'Elanna when that other vision of loveliness is around -- those big eyes, that massive chest, that gorgeous hair, that outfit, that body, that (ooooh baby) Talaxian hunk!!
7.In his native language, the word "Tuvok" means "he who passes wind," and he just couldn't keep a straight face around the Vulcan.
6.That extra hour of sleep he lost every morning because he had to get up and fix his hair.
5.Three words: leola root parmesan.
4.When he had heard that Tom was the pilot of a ship on a UPN show, he mistakenly thought it was the Love Boat, and he had hoped to realize his life long dream of meeting Gavin "Captain Stubing" McLeod.
3.B'Elanna finally confessed and handed over Admiral Paris' letter, but to the alien instead of the real Tom; still, he found that all those insults and expletives negatively affected his self-esteem.
2.In studying up for the Paris role, he made the mistake of reading through the C/P archives instead of the P/T stories, and he couldn't understand why Chakotay kept belting him whenever he patted the Commander on the behind.
1.Not understanding the human concept of the "little white lie" he made a critical error in judgment when answering B'Elanna's question, "does this smock make me look fat?"

Would he be worse off in the body of any of our other intrepid crew members?