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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Things Most Likely To Happen When Tuvok Enters Pon Farr
Marie -- 3 Apr 1998, 4:13 PM

WARNING: This post is in poor taste (8472, get out of here *now*)

10.Tuvok will walk onto the bridge naked--on purpose
9.Tuvok will remind Janeway that she called him her best friend
8.Janeway will then either a.) contemplate formally taking nuns' vows and changing her name to Abbess Kate, or b.) come to her senses and say "just let me run to my quarters and get the equipment. --Do you prefer black leather or red?
7.Tuvok walks up to Tom and says, "What do you say we double date with the Delaney sisters?"
6.Tom will create a list of the Top 100 Pon Farr jokes with which to torment Tuvok after it's over.
5.Unable to acquire a date with the Delaney sisters, Tuvok walks into sickbay and asks the Holodoc to change his program. "What did you have in mind," the Doc asks? "A redhead, about the size and shape of Abbess Kate."
4.Tuvok encounters the sexually-frustrated Chakotay and say "come here, big boy. Let me show you my spirit guide."
3.Seven propositions Tuvok, proclaiming, "resistance is futile. Take off your clothes." Tuvok responds, "you Borg talk too much. Assimilate *this.*
2.Seven will then show him every sexual position and trick known to the Borg.
1.Tuvok will pass Kim in the corridor when it's all over and look at him with the Vulcan equivalent of a smug sneer.