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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Things That Happen On Tom's Terrible Day
Ruth -- 2 Apr 1998, 8:23 AM

I started out with a crew list, but got fixated on Tommy (go figure)

10.He runs out of Rogaine on the same day that
9.he runs out of styling mousse and
8.his hair dryer breaks and everyone spends the day pointing and giggling at his hairline.
7.He gets a speeding ticket for traveling at Warp 10 in a Warp 9.9 zone.
6.The captain tells him he has to go along as a passenger on a shuttle that Chakotay will pilot.
5.He's having trouble with his eyes, and the doctor tells him that because of some problems with his optical equipment, instead of contacts, Paris will have to start wearing tinted glasses.
4.The Delaney sisters start a conversation that begins with, "Tom, remember when you got smashed at the First Night of Prixin celebration?", and ends with the words, "we're pregnant."
3.He finally gets his letter from his father, and it is nothing but a forwarded bar bill and an overdue notice from the Penal Settlement library for the book, "Daddy Dearest: How to Blame Every Lousy, Rotten, Miserable Thing That Ever Happened To You On That SOB Your Mom Made You Call Dad."
2.TPTB, having had so much success with the Seven of Nine character and the young male demographic, decide to do something to attract women, and bring a new crew member aboard: a dashing, muscular space rogue named Antonio Solo, who the doctor outfits in tight black pants and a white pirate shirt that stays open to the waist. Janeway then makes Solo her chief helmsman (after modifying the bridge by taking away the pilot's chair, so he'll have to stand and she can watch his butt from her chair). When Paris protests, "Hell, Captain, I'm the best pilot you could have and I'm just as cute as he is!," Janeway merely drags her glazed eyes from Solo and replies, "Huh?"
1.B'Elanna, inspired by the slash fan/fic she's been reading suggests bringing a third party into their relationship. He's intrigued with the possibilities until she whispers the name, "Neelix" in his ear.