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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Ways The Crew Spring Cleans Voyager
Ruth - 22 Mar 1998, 11:57 AM

I finally had some time to do this, and now I'm working on Roxanne's list (can you tell I have finally decided I have to do my taxes -- along with a little spring cleaning of my own.

10.B'Elanna, perhaps inspired by her new domestic relationship with Tom, becomes the "Donna Reed" of engineering, constantly cleaning her work area while wearing pearls and high heels, and putting a cozy over the warp core.
9.Chakotay outfits his spirit guide with a dust buster while he goes on a vision quest.
8.Neelix tells the crew that in the spring cleaning spirit of out with the old, in with the new, he will no longer serve leola root casseroles. Before the cheering stops, he says that from now on he will serve leola root stews.
7.Harry Kim becomes flustered when one of the Delaney sisters suggests that his clarinet is a phallic symbol and decides to throw it out while cleaning, but is immediately sorry afterwards.
6.Andy decides to make more room on his computer's hard drive by deleting all those cheesecake shots of Jeri Ryan he's downloaded over the past few months. Oops! Sorry, that belongs on the top ten list of things that wouldn't happen in a million years while Andy is spring cleaning.
5.The Delaney sisters decide to hold a garage sale in order to get rid of a bunch of their old clothes. Seven is immediately attracted to the red lace merry widow, which she thinks would be a good look for her, and B'Elanna is heard to whisper that she feels like she's walked into a Frederick's of Hollywood boutique.
4.Since Tuvok finds disorder and dirt illogical, he has nothing to clean, and spends his time watching old "Hazel" re-runs in order to feel connected with the rest of the crew as they do their cleaning.
3.The Holodoc creates a French Holomaid to help him keep sick bay clean, but the plan goes horribly awry as he can no longer keep his mind on his medical duties, and feathers from her duster keep getting mixed up with the sterile bandages.
2.When Aunt Polly, er, Captain Janeway orders Tom "Sawyer" Paris to paint the holodeck, he convinces Harry, Ayala, Carey, etc. that it is so much fun that they end up giving him all of their replicator credits for the privilege of doing it themselves.
1.Janeway throws out all of her pictures of Mark and the dog, and replaces them with pictures of Chakotay and his spirit guide.