Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Things Found In Crews' Quarter's During Spring Cleaning
Martha -- 18 Mar 1998, 6:38 PM

10.	Neelix realizes that Cargo Bay three is buried under a couple of metric tons of an unpopular, though completely edible foodstuff; he decides to make "Baked Leila Root a la Talaxia" the featured entree for the month of April.
9.	The Bolian buffs his healthy blue to a shining silver.
8.	Kim realizes that the lumpiness of his bed is due to a few (ahem) magazines he had picked up on Deep Space Nine. On his way to the disposal unit the pages accidentally fall open to reveal the contest "Win a date with the Dapper Delaney Sisters." Kim is reported AWOL for the next duty roster only to appear, unshaven, staggering and giggling weakly.
7.	Seven finds a particle of dust in her regenerator, comes to the conclusion that cleanliness is irrelevant and adopts a new uniform of sweatpants, a t-shirt and a pony tail. She finds she has a lot more free time in the astrometrics lab as fewer crew members are dropping by to "see how the star mapping thing is going"
6.	Janeway imbibes a little too much of the best organic suspension in the galaxy and orders the whole crew to dress in pastel colors for a live "Easter Crew Hunt" for Naomi Wildman.
5.	Chakotay orders the remaining sixteen shuttlecraft be washed, polished and detailed as he feels like going for a spin, and wants to look snappy.
4.	Tom decides to surprise B'Elanna with the "treat" of cleaning her quarters. As he's vacuuming under her bed he is a solid "clunk" as a PADD goes into the vacuum tube. Looking at the PADD he sees it is the missing letter from his dad. He begins to read the letter but only gets through the first paragraph "Dear Son, I thought we would never have to tell you this but given your situation I feel it is only right you both know the truth. As you know Kathryn Janeway was a student of mine and when she found herself "in trouble" she asked me to help her find a home for the baby. Mrs. Paris (the woman you know as your mother) and I decided to keep and raise the baby ourselves. Kathryn never knew because she received her first posting immediately afterwards and we thought it best..." He awakens in sick bay, puzzling the doctor by mumbling "Captain Mommy" over and over again until he's fully conscious.
3.	B'Elanna orders Carey to Windex the warp core.
2.	Chakotay decides to tend to a spiritual cleaning and is happily ensconced in meditation when his spirit guide disrupts his calm by berating "So, why have you meditated with me in so long? Are your knees broken, you couldn't sit cross-legged for a minute to tell me you're ok? Look at you wandering all over the Delta Quadrant, Mr. Big Shot Marquis. I told you to be a doctor, raise a nice family, come visit me more often. For this I hover in the spirit world?"
1.	Lt. Ayala is asked to polish all the consoles but he neglects to disconnect the comm before doing so and by pressing all the buttons at once discovers a way home to the Alpha Quadrant. His returning speech is so heartwarming it becomes mandatory reading for school children for years to come.

Ginny -- 18 Mar 1998, 7:49 PM
This is terrific, Martha! The live Easter Crew Hunt. The moving Ayala speech. The bouncing baby Paris. But I gotta ask --- is Chakotay's spirit guide a Jewish mother? LOL.

Pegn -- 18 Mar 1998, 7:58 PM
Uh...Martha? Great list, but the implications of #4 are well....you know ... considering what Paris and *Captain Mommy* did in "Threshhold. "EEEEEWWWW!

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