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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Signs The Crew Is Getting Bored
G'Inny -- 2 Mar 1998, 11:58 AM

10.Seven spends hours in the Astrometrics Lab connecting the dots on the viewport.
9.Engineering crew has turned the warp core into a giant lava lamp.
8.Tuvok has taken over Kes' garden and started growing the Vulcan equivalent of hashish.
7.The crew has a betting pool on what color Tom's eyes will be at any particular given moment.
6.Small groups of giggly ensigns keep sneaking into one of the transporter rooms and beaming used gel packs into unexpected places.
5.Kathryn's hair color changes everyday, much like Mrs. Slocum's on "Are You Being Served?"
4.Sick Bay can't keep prophylactics, tongue depressors, or specimen cups in stock. (Writer disclaims all responsibility for whatever depraved images appear in the reader's mind.)
3.Chakotay's spirit guide now has a mate, a litter of pups, and a Mountie friend named Benton.
2.Tom breaks into Harry's quarters while he's asleep and paints Tiresian spots on his face just to see his reaction at the next morning's staff meeting.
1.Ayala finally loses it in the Mess Hall and talks, nonstop, for six solid hours.