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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Things The Doctor Will Do To Get Himself In Trouble During Season Four
Craig -- 23 Apr 1997, 07:54 GMT

10.The doctor will create a holo-dog for his holo-family. Unfortunately the little bugger keeps biting into those darn gel packs.
9.The Doctor will take up mountain climbing, in the holodeck. Unfortunately, he gets trapped on a mountain during the first day of the Year of Hell, leaving poor Kes to run sickbay by herself, and we all know how weird she's been lately.
8.The Doctor will take up listening to 60's Rock music to open his horizons to new mental experiences. Unfortunately he starts wearing earrings, grows his hair long, wears Jim Morrison T-shirts and calls Janeway "one groovy dude."
7.The Doctor, while trying to give himself a hair transplant, feels physical pain for the second time, and decides to try something else. (Part I of Voyager's one and only attempt at a three parter, called "Transplantcosm").
6.The Doctor sends a sub-space message to the Alpha Quadrant ordering a toupee to be ready for him when Voyager gets home. Unfortunately the message is picked up by an alien race called the Missan Turpators that mistake it for a battle cry. (Part II is called "Weavecosm").
5.The Doctor asks B'Ellana's help in creating holo-hair for his holo-baldspot. Unfortunately, the plan goes awry, and hair starts growing too quickly, all over his body, AND it won't stop. (Part III is called "Saskwatchcosm").
4.The Doctor will accidently blow up a shuttle and kill an ensign. (Does there need to be reason?)
3.The Doctor convinces himself he is a female hologram trapped in a male holograms programming (decidely from Dr. Zimmerman's latent homosexual tendencies), and decides to change his programming to look female. Unfortunately, the only body the computer can come up with, compatible with the Doctor's personality, is Bea Arthur's.
2.The Doctor accidently introduces Pon Farr into his programming and spends an hour chasing B'Elanna, up and down the decks, through the jeffries tubes, and around the bridge; all the while Paris and Kim stand aside laughing.
1.The Doctor decides to find his inner child. Unfortunately the little tike is a curious fellow and decides to take apart his holo-emitter to see if he can put it back together again. He can't. And throws a screamer of a temper tandram when Janeway won't turn back to see if the temporal riff to L.A. is still there.