Grasshopper And Gadfly

Grasshopper and Gladfly: pt 3.583333 (to the 6 dec. pl.)
Leonie — 26 Sep 1998, 8:26 AM

The first Kazon came at Quai-Chang. Quai-Chang took a second to feel the source of his strength and his power. A vision of a small creature with pointed ears came to him.

"The Force runs strong within you. You must face them and free Gladfly, only then a Jedi Knight will you be"

Huh?

He made a promise that the next time he visited Madame D'Alaireux's he would ease up on the Java.

It only took a second.

The Kazon raised the butt of his gun to strike Quai-Chang. Serenely, he grabbed the butt and swung it deftly over his head. The Kazon made three somersaults as he did so.

During the first somersault.

'Well gosh golly gee, the world looks a mite different when you're looking at it from upside down." Indeed it did. The tress were green then brown. Squirrels looked the same, though, but he supposed that was because he was taller than a squirrel and always looked down on them anyway. He caught a gaze of himself in the pond which he drank from two seconds earlier with his meal.

He had two thoughts

Grasshopper and Gladfly: pt 3.666667 (to the 6 dec. pl.)
Leonie — 26 Sep 1998, 8:27 AM

"No wonder Pa doesn't allow us to have mirrors in the House. My hair is butt Ugly. I reckoned that it was the truth of mah kin, not me"

"I drank from that!!!! Ewwe"

He wondered what Mary-Sue would think if he got his hair shaved off. Did he really want to marry a woman who appeared in public with him with his hair looking like that?

End of the first somersault, beginning of the second.

Quai-Chang sighed. It was always this way. Everyone one else had turned to stone waiting for the first Kazon to finish his somersaults through the air and land on the ground. He wished that for once the Force.....

His sigh was deeper this time. Maybe he'd ask for Decaff his next vision

.............The Powers That Be would just get on with it instead of having these slow motion moves. Wait a minute!!!

He bent his head down in silent prayer.

Grasshopper and Gladfly: pt 3.750000 (to the 6 dec. pl.)
Leonie — 26 Sep 1998, 8:28 AM

At her typewriter, The Woman had a sudden vision.

"No that can't be right, I don't drink coffee at this hour."

"Ooh, I get it. OK, I'll hurry it up"

She'd better, it was already 2:00 am

***

The first Kazon landed on the ground a mere five feet behind Quai-Chang with a loud 'Oomph"

"Yaaaahh" The second came at Quai-Chang, gun raised and ready to strike. Quai-Chang's foot lashed out and struck him in the stomach

"OOOf"

He raised his hands and brought it down on the Kazon's shoulder. The crack that he heard was loud and satisfying. Almost as satisfying as the Java he had earlier. Almost.

"Aack"

A second grabbed him from behind. Quai-Chang felt the connection. Elbow to stomach, feet back and to the side, the Kazon went down with a loud thump. Quai-Chang began to tackle the other four who had come towards him.

He was everywhere and no-where to the Kazon. Every time, they thought that their fists, feet or the butts of their guns, we would just appear just to the side and deliver blows that took them down with one shot.

Grasshopper and Gladfly: pt 3.833333 (to the 6 dec. pl.)
Leonie — 26 Sep 1998, 8:29 AM

Quai-Chang was enjoying himself immensely. This is why he had endeavored to lead a life of prayer, fasting and simplicity. To be able to beat people up when they acted pigheaded. It was true that his philosophy only accepted violence as last resort and was dependant on people being stubborn in refusing to allow him to help others. However, as Quai-Chang found out, there was no shortage of pigheaded people in the world. Although he must admit, being in the surroundings of Voyager City, he thought that he had been beamed up to the 'Mother ship of the Pigheaded' in encountering the Nistrim and the Kazon.

The fight that he was engaged in was routine to Quai-Chang, even though he was enjoying himself. It started off with two thugs coming at him while the rest waited. Then the number doubled once those two were beaten. If there were more thugs, the rest would wait until he defeated the four who were in his immediate vicinity. There was only one thing that seemed puzzling to Quai-Chang about this particular fight. They didn't fire their guns!!!. They used them more in the form of clubs, and even then they didn't use them effectively.

This set of ranchers must be inbred.

When he saw that eleven of Kazon on the ground, he gave a small smile. He had won, as if there was ever any doubt. He had a sudden alarming thought.

Gladfly!!!!

Grasshopper and Gladfly: pt 3.916667 (to the 6 dec. pl.)
Leonie — 26 Sep 1998, 8:31 AM

Harry Janeway was not doing too well in his fight. The first Kazon who came up to him he threw his best punch at. The Kazon stopped his punch in mid-swing and then dropped his gun and burst out laughing.

"That's your best punch!??! I have been hit harder by women."

This enraged Harry so much that he took a step forward, fists clenched and promptly tripped over an upturned tree root in the ground. He landed on the nearest Kazon and knocked his lights out.

"I'll take a victory anyway I can get it", he said as he got off the ground and whipped around to face his next foe.

Two Kazon ranchers didn't like the way that their fight was going with Quai-Chang so they decided to pick on someone their own intelligence level, actually, it was someone who was more of their own fighting capabilities; Harry Janeway.

They came at him with the butts of their guns.

Grasshopper and Gladfly: pt 3.999999 (aka a 4 Material, 6 nines p
Leonie — 26 Sep 1998, 8:33 AM

Harry planted his foot firmly on the ground and struck his best defense pose. He heard something in the wind and he had a vision of millions of people sitting in front of boxes that were flashing images of two people in an icebox.

'pick up the gun....pick up the gun.....pick up the gun.....'

Huh?

One particular voice came to him

"Hey Harry, you forgot the "D" in front of that thought."

Harry was confused. He sighed. It wasn't the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

The Kazon took advantage of his hesitation and proceeded to beat the (censored) out of him. Harry raised his arm to ward off the blow. There was a loud "Crack" and he knew that he had broken his arm. Fists made repeated contacts with his face and he felt the but of one gun in his stomach. His dinner came up.

'Well so much for asking for more' He tried using humor to keep his spirits up as he was having the snot beaten out of him.

The Kazon were joyful. Finally, someone who they could defeat.

The next moment, through his swollen eyes, he saw Quai-Chang put his thumb and forfinger to the back of the necks of his two attackers. They slumped to the ground.

'You have to teach me how to do that sometime.'

Quai-Chang sighed. His younger brother was always so impetuous.

'That is not your line. And this is not the right time for it to be delivered. You have disturbed the forces in all three camps, the blue, the gray and the blue-gray."

"I don't get it."

This time Quai-Chang smiled.

Naturally.

(Onto Grasshopper and Gladfly pt 4.000000 (to six dec. pl. of course)

(Thanks to Terry for his insights into Kung-Fu: The original and The Legend Continues)