Parodies Of Classical Poetry

To His Coy Captain
Ginny — 30 Jun 1998

I have resisted as long as I could.

But you knew I'd eventually give in and write my own parody.

(With sincerest apologies to Andrew Marvell)

Had we but warp enough, and time,
This boldness, Katie, were no crime.
We would wander and think which way
To piss off new species on long dull days.
...
But at our backs I always hear
Alien starships hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lays
Light years of vast Delta space.
...
Now therefore, while the Voyager crew
Looks on thy face for hope anew,
And though thy willing soul transpires
To call for shields and phaser fire,
Now let us spare us while we may
And now, like well-cloaked birds of prey,
Rather at once our trip detour
Than languish in an alien war.
Let us roll all our strength and all
Our plasma up into one ball,
And move our asses with rough speed
Through that nebula up ahead.
Thus, though we cannot make our trek
Less long, yet we will make it back.

(Based on To His Coy Mistress by Andrew Marvell)