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Parodies Of Classical Poetry

On First Digesting Neelix's Chili
D'Alaire — 30 Jun 1998

And another one down, and another one down...

Heavens! I've got to stop this. But thunderstorms and terpentine always have had a strange effect on me. (Plus I just couldn't help myself, as usual.)

Much have I traveled in the realms of space,
And many unique plates and odd cuisine
Wound into my intesines; I had been
The bane of spices, none would burn my taste.
Then in Delta's expanse I'd come apace,
Where whiskered Neelix cooked in his kitchen;
Yet did I never turn so deathly green
'Till I shoved Chili, Red Hot, in my face:
Then felt I like some lesser gourmet guys,
When a new entree in their stomach swims;
For like the seasick, when with teary eyes
I staggered 'round the room -- and did it spin!
Looked at the cook with treason and surprise --
Burping, Neelix's chili did me in.

(Based on On First Looking Into Chapman's Homer by Keats)