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Voyager Episode Themes

Vidiians (Phage)
D'Alaire — 23 Jun 1998

Sung to It's A Sin by The Pet Shop Boys

In honor of "Phage"
(And since I can't think up a TTL for "Pathways" [grrr...])

When I look up at the ceiling,
It's always with a great disdain;
I've never liked white tile frames.

I only sought to make some food,
Now both my lungs are gone, boo hoo;
It's because of Mister Goo.

It's the, it's the, it's the -- Vidiians

In my life I've had such fun.
There's so much that I can do,
What I'd do for some new lungs,
And to neuter Paris too.


On Voyager I tried to be
A cook for Starfleet and Maquis
I took Kate's room for me.

But Capitan Kate got Goo to help
They plucked a lung from Kes, my elf
And now she's nurse for Doc Jekyll.

It's the, it's the, it's the -- Vidiians.

Kate said she'd use deadly force
If they used her chicks as game.
But you know they will, of course.
Doc, please scratch my nose again.


Sweeting, forgive me, you know you can't do this:
Turn over your lungie, so they'll saw through it.
Darn right I feel jealous -- he'll swoop cross my daisies.
Sweeting you're so brave -- Yes, I know you care
Now that I'm off holo-air.

So now I'm back to my cool life,
Brewing up java plop instead
Of Capitan Janeway's favorite blend.

For all the grub I seek to serve,
No matter what stomach's disturbed,
Just one thing gets me unnerved --

It's the, it's the, it's the -- Vidiians.

Leola Stew is comin' soon.
Paris, get your hands off Kes.
I'm the guide, the cook, the dude;
Here's the Alka-Seltzer test --