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Holonovels And The Dictates Of Poetics

Harry's Holonovel
Roxanne — 30 Jun 1997

Sorry, Ginny, but since I've raised 2 kids and am in the midst of raising 2 more, and since I've seen every Disney movie about 15 times, I couldn't resist.

List of Characters

Robin: Tom Paris
Maid Marion: (For Eric) Kes
Prince John: Neelix
Friar Tuck: Chakotey
Snake: Holodoc
Clucky the maid: Janeway
Little John: Harry
Sheriff of Notingham: Tuvok

Scene opens at an archery contest. Robin is disguised as a stork. Maid Marion, Her maid, Prince John, and Slither(?) is sitting on the review stand. The Sheriff of Nottingham is doing meditation exercises.

Robin to Sheriff: Beggin' your pardon Sheriff, but are you doing?

Sheriff: Meditation exercises. They will increase my concentration which will improve my performance.

Robin: I bet I can beat you without all those fancy gimmics.

Sheriff: The only way you'd beat me is if you were Robin Hood. Besides, I taught archery on Vulcan.

Chakotey: I doubt the Nottingham in the middle ages has ever heard of Vulcan Tuvok. Besides, if you don't keep to the script, we'll all be confused. I know an ancient legend...

Robin walks to the stand and bows low: Just paying my respects to royalty your highness.

Slither(?) unsure of Robin's sincerity (When is Tom ever sincere) bares his fangs and hisses.

Robin then turns to Maid Marion and winks: Well Beautiful Lady, are you the prize?

Maid Marion: Only for a kiss, Fair Stork.

Clucky: It takes a lot more than a sweet way to win the prize.

Prince John: Well, I for one hope you win, Stork.

Tuvok (a little peevishly if a Vulcan can get that way since it's an emotion): Neelix, you're supposed to be cheering for me.

Neelix: I know, but how can I root for a villian?

Harry (not with a little anger): You're supposed to be an evil prince taking over your brother's throne.

Tom: Yeah, who cast this anyway. The only ones who fit their parts are me and Kes.

Harry (with more anger): I did

Tom (somewhat abashed): Oh.

Harry: Oh forget it. I knew you guys wouldn't cooperate. You think I'm such a baby.

He stomps out of the holodeck while Tom looks at the others: Now what'd I do?

The End