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Voyager Top Ten Lists

Top Ten UPN Replacement Shows
Maureen -- 28 Jul 1998, 11:34 AM

A question recently appeared regarding UPN's programming plans until Voyager reappears mid-October. Due to the appeal of retro-shows, like "The Love Boat," and recognizing the under-utilization of one of the most beloved characters they have under contract, UPN execs have approved the following:

1.QuanTOM Leap--Al is quite pleased to learn that Sam's replacement is much more willing to act on some of his prurient suggestions. Still, gentleman that he is, Tom doesn't kiss and tell.
2.Tommy's Angels--Responsible for directing the careers of 3 gorgeous crimefighters (a statuesque blonde, a savvy brunette with attitude, and a red-head armed to the teeth), Mr. Paris is most unlikely to remain a disembodied voice over the phone.
3.All in the Paris Family--Unable to secure employment since returning to the Alpha Quadrant, Tom and B'Elanna are forced to move in with Tom's parents, a lovable Starfleet bigot and his dingbat wife. Tom and B'Elanna try to find time for some humor and romance in their exasperating circumstances, while Admiral Daddy has plenty of advice for his meathead son.
4.Warp 10 and Brownshoe--Lionel is befuddled by his new partner's ability to be everywhere simultaneously, although it certainly adds a new dimension to their investigations. However, George Hamilton is not at all happy about the slimy salamander trails in his mansion.
5.Starsky and Tom ( Paris and Hutch? ) -- Never could remember which one was the blond. Anyway, flashy cars, babes--yeah, that works.
6.Dr. Tom, Medicine Boy--Set against the backdrop of the expanding western frontier, Tom Paris learns that his amazing ability to radiate concern and offer a sincere, "I'm so sorry," is about as useful as anything 19th century medicine had to offer.
7.My Three Newts--Bachelor dad Tom Paris deals with the heartaches and rewards of raising 3 salamander babies. Neelix co-stars as the curmudgeonly uncle who's always there with some homespun advice and a home-cooked meal.
8.Paris, PI--He's already got the wardrobe for shooting on location in Hawaii. Tom's investigative duties always seem to center around spouses worried about their partners cheating. After spending some time with this energetic investigator, wives have a whole new perspective on infidelity. Husbands, however, are strangely unreassured by Tom's reports that, "Hey, the whole time I was with her, she never looked at another guy."
9.I Dream of Tommy--In a 90's twist on the 1960's classic, Tom Paris stars as the blond-haired, blue-eyed beauty trapped in a bottle and forced to do the bidding of the one who frees him. Don't miss that very special episode guest-starring Chakotay.
10.Hill Street Blues/Grays--Captain Furillo himself spearheads the investigation to determine what color Tom's eyes really are.

Ginny -- 28 Jul 1998, 1:08 PM

How about a few more?

1.THE SCENTINEL--Ruggedly handsome Cascade detective and Native American Chakotay Ellison discovers that he can track just about anything on the planet by smell, but he still can't build a decent fire. He is aided in his crime-fighting efforts by the brilliant and beautiful astrophysics grad student Tom Underparis, who's proclivity for getting hurt is the stuff of legend. There is no, I repeat, no sexual tension between Det. Ellison and Tom Underparis -- it's just your imagination.
2.SPACE: ABOVE AND BE BLONDE--A group of raw Marine recruits, commanded by the handsome, heroic, gray-eyed, silver-blonde In Vitro, Col. McParis, is thrust into the middle of a space war. The unit's blonde captain, Shane Van-Seven, haunted by the death of her mother and father at the hands of inhuman assassins, follows in her parent's career footsteps. Also in the unit is a young and inexperienced blonde (not his natural hair color) In Vitro lieutenant, Cooper Kim, who looks to Col. McParis for guidance and advice. There is no, I repeat, no sexual tension between Col. McParis and Lt. Kim -- I don't care what it looks like.
3.THE Q-FILES--Brilliant psychologist Fox Paris is shunned and ridiculed by his colleagues at the FBI (Federation Bureau of Investigation) for his almost obsessive pursuit of a series of cases involving unexplained phenomena. Paris is certain that several, if not all, of the cases involve a government cover-up of the presence on Earth of an omnipotent extraterrestial known only as Q. Paris teams up with fiesty red-head Dana Janeway to search for the truth. Along the way, Paris gets the snot beat out of him repeatedly, and Janeway shoots a lot of people. There is no, I repeat--oh, who am I kidding?
4.L'HOMME NIKITA--The beautiful, but destitute and strung-out Nikita Paris is rescued from prison and despair by the mysterious Michelle Janeway, who enlists the grateful young man in a clandestine organization, where he is trained to be a charming, but deadly assassin. Michelle nearly loses her objectivity and her heart to the lovely Nikita, but his repeated failure to pick up fallen weapons irritates her enough that she never completely falls under his spell.