The Coffee Nebula Board is for the discussion of Star Trek: Voyager and other sci-fi/cult shows. This is its Archive of episode discussions, top ten lists, fan fiction, and other miscellaneous musings.


Voyager's 1998 New Year's Resolutions

Kate Mulgrew - I promise that my character will not let her crew be taken by the AOTW. I will not let them or myself be submitted to mind probes.


Janeway: I resolve not to let Chakotay fly any more shuttles with ensigns in them. In fact, I resolve never to let Chakotay fly anything ever again.

Chakotay: I promise to stop stealing replicator rations from Harry in order to stock up on Grecian Formula.

Harry: I resolve to accompany Chakotay on his next shuttle mission. Maybe I will change his luck.

Holodoc: I resolve to create a security program that won't allow angry Starfleet captains to shut me down when I attempt to relieve them of duty.

Tom: I resolve to actually *carry out* a rescue mission the next time the captain decides to let B'Elanna be lobotomized by a bunch of snooty, insipid aliens.

B'Elanna: I resolve never to set foot on another planet inhabited by by thrill-seeking telepaths.

Seven: I resolve to stay far, far away from Harry Kim.

Tuvok: I resolve to protect Seven from idiotic human boys seeking seeking sexual thrills from borg babes.


Lisa Klink--I resolve never again to write an episode which features a Circle O' Babes carrying phallic symbols.

[From Terry: G'Inny's 1998 New Years' Resolution: - I promise to stop looking for phallic symbols under every bush on every hand in every nook and cranny - you know what I mean! ]

Ken Biller--I resolve to lock Taylor and Braga in a bio-temporal chamber and write all their assigned Voyager episodes, myself.

Les Landau--I resolve to come back and direct more Voyager epsisodes, if Ginny will ask me nicely. (Oh, please, please, PLEASE, Les!)

Robert Duncan McNeill and Roxann Dawson--We resolve to whallop up side the head the next writer who makes our characters say unintelligent, unromantic, and/or erotically infantile dialogue to each other.

Bring on 1998!!!!!!!


Okay, I know these reek but I thought I would get the ball rolling for the more creative ones amongst you.

Jeri Taylor: I resolve to stop blaming my former colleagues and circumstances beyond my control for my failure to demand consistent characterizations from the writers.

Brannon Braga: I swear never to erase interesting action and character interactions with the reset button.

Kate Mulgrew: I promise to take off my rose-colored glasses and realize that no one respects the competence of a captain who orders Voyager to fly in all six directions of the compass at once, no matter how confidently she does so.

Robert Beltran: I resolve to start taking science fiction, Star Trek, Voyager, and the Chakotay character more seriously.

Tim Russ: I promise to continue fighting to keep my character consistent.

Robert Duncan McNeill: I swear to never again agree to portray a character whom the show's producers and writers neither like or care about.

Roxann Dawson: I resolve to keep keeping my priorities straight. (Okay, Terry, you're going to have to translate this one for me! Mr. Mac.)

Robert Picardo: I promise to never again make my character so dependent upon someone whom the producers dump.

Ethan Phillips: I swear to continue acting less like a buffoon.

Jeri Ryan: I resolve to use my rating clout to demand a more comfortable uniform and sensible shoes.

Jennifer Lien: I promise to never take this **** from anyone ever again.


You forgot - Garret Wang: I promise, THIS year, I really start trying to act.


Kes - I resolve to get myself remembered, whenever it's appropriate to the story.

Doctor - I resolve to recruit and train a new nurse who doesn't have any other visible function in the plot which calls them away from the Sick Bay at inopportune moments. The Delaney sisters would do nicely... particularly as they'd allow us, four years into our journey, to introduce a second shift in Sick Bay.

Tom Paris - I resolve to coax the captain (and, via the fourth wall, the writers) into giving me a solo featured episode this season. Unless it involves wearing lots of latex, that is, in which case Harry can have it.

B'Elanna - I resolve to make Chakotay fix the next shuttlecraft he breaks! And anybody who suggests that I might be hostile can help. That goes double for you, Andy!

Chakotay - I resolve not to crash another shuttlecraft, or B'Elanna will make me fix it. And since that meddling Tom Paris started putting her in touch with her inner Klingon, she's learned how to use a Bat'leth now, too.

Janeway - I resolve to have a near-death experience after I next use Voyager to play chicken with a bunch of obstreporous aliens, as a result of which I wake up and smell the flowers coffee, and realise that I need a little more relaxation and a little less caffeine. And perhaps a change of holonovel.

Tuvok - I resolve to write the Captain a new holonovel where she doesn't get too pally with the characters. And I resolve not to let Mr Paris help me write it unless he can prove that he's learned all the Dictates of Poetics by heart.

Seven - I resolve to start assimilating irrelevancies.

Harry Kim - I resolve to try harder to become more than merely decorative. And to keep out of Seven's way, just in case.